Actually, it IS Rocket Science

Tomorrow… Tomorrow.

The life of a terminal procrastinator is rough.  I mean, it wouldn’t have to be, obviously, but it simply is.  There’s more at heart than simply putting off stuff until the last minute.  It transcends that.  Much like an addiction, the act of delaying responsibility is merely a symptom of something much, much greater.  And its effects are even more detrimental to those around them.  It breaks up families, crumbles civilizations, causes the decimation of potential laws under a fancy title of “filibustering,” and makes everyone pissed off that they had to wait for you to show up 20 minutes late for dinner.

Overall?  Infuriating for everyone involved.

But it’s not something that carries a simple solution as a direct order of “Just effing DO IT, already!”  That’s like telling a depressed person to “Just smile” or “Snap out of it.”

Oooo.  I hate those people that say  ”just snap out of it.”  I feel like putting on stilettos and “accidently” impaling their feet.

Well, I mean, if we’re already using quotations.

Tomorrow I take off for an extended vacation where my family will gather together like a rare sighting of an exotic species of birds and celebrate the union of two people who are very important to us.  At this point, for all intents and purposes, I should be done getting ready for my flight out tomorrow.  DONE.  The only thing I should be worried about at this point is setting my dv-r for the coming week.

Instead, this morning I woke up and made a list of what I had left to do.

Here, at almost 11am, is that list that I need to complete before I leave tomorrow:


go to bank

take out garbage

clean kitchen

schedule for airport shuttle


shop: still need:  energy bar for airport, shitty mags (for 5 hour flight), white button down shirt, new flip flops, a falcon (just checking if you were still paying attention)

write Psychopathology paper


hang up clothes

call sister


clean out fridge

water plants



iron clothes

maintain a modicum of sanity


Yes.  all that.  And although, admittedly, many of those activities will take only a short amount of time to finish, they are completely counteracted by other activities that will take much longer to perform.  And, wait, did I mention that I’m a procrastinator?  Yes?

May I just say that I have grown in leaps and bounds at attempting to recover from this crippling disease.  First of all, by making lists.  Lists.  Oh my god, the lists.  Lists have changed my life.  But it’s still a work in progress.  Because once I make a list, especially an extensive one as the one you see above, it can sometimes have a counteractive effect than its original goal.  Instead of mapping out a clean and concise directive of what still needs to be done, it has been known to put me in a complete state of disbelief and shock-induced paralysis that I’ve let shit build up this much.

And now everything is totally screwed.  Because ultimately that means that I will now find anything else to do to put of the list of clear and focused goals that need to be completed, but I just noticed that I should really dust off my dvd’s; they’re looking mighty… dusty.

And the list is now null-and-void.  I am procrastinating the procrastination.   How meta.

But I do it.  I will.  I always have.  I never just don’t turn in a paper on time, or simplynot clean the kitchen.  The only difference is that I now know that I will more than likely not go to sleep tonight in attempt to scramble to get it all done.  Oh, it’ll get done.  But tomorrow the TSA agent who has the misfortune of getting me as their next client is going to have to deal with a woman who is so out of sorts due to sleep-restricted-induced dementia that they will probably have to ask multiple times for me to pull my computer out of my bag.  And now out of it’s sleeve.  And to now please place it on the tray.  No, ma’am, the tray.  No, you can’t just place the laptop on the x-ray belt.  No, don’t put your dirty shoes on top of your laptop, get another tray.  You know what?  Do whatever the hell you want.  I pray you’re not carrying anything metal on you.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * Barbara Liese says:

    Right there with you. What? You think the cats need food while we’re gone?
    C u in Kona!

    | Reply Posted 7 years, 7 months ago
    • hehe- I think those cats would find a way to set you straight even from several hundred miles away. See you soon!

      | Reply Posted 7 years, 7 months ago
  2. * steph says:

    Lol, i completely put off all this wedding crap till the last minute. hahahaha. we must be related. 🙂 luckily i took three days off work before leaving which was a godsend. I also think it’s a good idea to schedule vacation time before ones wedding that way you officially have to stop working on stuff more than one day prior.

    At any rate, I asked a colleague for good time management books and he recommended ‘Get Things Done’ which I had also heard about on a podcast. I plan to read it when I get back. I hope that doesn’t mean I’m procrastinating on reading this book about procrastination? Meh.

    | Reply Posted 7 years, 7 months ago
    • oooo- you know, come to think of it, I believe I might have heard of that book before, too. I’ll be interested to hear what you think of it once you’ve read it.

      And please, I highly doubt anything is going to be lacking on the plan making department- how many people make full-on websites?! Ya dun good, girlygirl.

      | Reply Posted 7 years, 7 months ago

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