Actually, it IS Rocket Science

A layman’s view of politics

Since the beginning of the huge media campaign for the hit “Bin Laden 2: Electric Boogaloo (This time…WE GOT ‘IM!)” started, we’ve been introduced to new nuggets of inside information every day like little teaser trailers for the eventual multitude of made-for-tv movies that will inevitably surface within the next several months or even years.  I, for one, can’t wait to see what fantastic recreations of living in squalor and constant fear of imminent death our American actors will deliver, and I only pray that they are all method actors to the point that they refuse to bathe for weeks on end and seek refuge in whatever caves and dustbin “houses” they can get their hands on for the sake of putting themselves truly into their character.  Lord knows Brad from Los Angeles has the commitment it requires to take up a sewing needle for the first time and embroider his meager food budget into the linings of his best Ben Sherman polo.

Godspeed, Brad.  We’re rooting that you get the main role and not some cheap “Bin Laden henchmen” part in the credits.

Really, though, it does get a bit exhausting to riffle through all these new releases of information every single day, and to then make sure it’s from a reputable source that you’re not getting roped in to believing that Osama was in the process of setting up his mom’s TiVo and preparing a low-sodium sandwich for her just before he was assassinated.  It requires a very judicious eye for deciphering the bull from the shit in this regard, I fully believe.

And truth be told, sometimes it’s extremely hard to relate to such news.  Honestly, I cannot consider the amount of strength, stealth, and energy that went into the process of such an ordeal of the extremity of such a manhunt.  It obviously requires an insurmountable amount of drive and commitment as well as a blatant disregard for the feeling of inescapable threat.  So please don’t think I’m downplaying the intrepidity of the people who had the gall to do what I would have flipped my shit over.

It’s just that I recently read a release from ABC news about the exchange that apparently went on between our current president and our most previous one wherein the big boss told the previous boss of the outcome.


“I was eating souffle at Rise Restaurant with Laura and two buddies,” Bush said when asked what he was doing when he received the call from President Obama, according to an ABC News contributor who attended the event.

*****Gross.  Already I want to heave a massive dollop of babypuke on him for simply mentioning “souffle” and “buddies” in a professional interview*********

“I excused myself and went home to take the call,” Bush said. “Obama simply said ‘Osama Bin Laden is dead.’”

Bush said Obama described in detail the secret mission to raid bin Laden’s Pakistani compound and the decision he made to put the plan into motion. He told Obama, “Good call.”



You guys, when I approach a subject that I can’t immediately relate to on a direct linear level, I attempt to bring it down to a more relatable situation that while I understand what is going on in the exchange, I can relate to on a more humanistic level.  I spent a great deal of time considering this exchange, and here’s the everyday situation that I came up with that might have had the same outcome…


Stepdad calls his stepdaughter’s dead-beat dad who hasn’t kept up with her life events since he left when she was 5.

Stepdad:  George?

DBD: Yuh?

STPDad: Your daughter got into Harvard.

DBD:  Hold up.  Lemme get away from this monster truck rally… Naw, it’s cool Candi, save my fuel-feed cheesefries for when I get back.  Hellow?

STPDad: *sigh* George, your daughter Wendy got into Harvard.


STPDad:  She also got offers from Amherst, Columbia, and early placement from Yale.

DBD:  mmm.  Lemon-lime.  Sorry, I’m listening.  Wait, college?  That’s like one of those expensive high schools, right?

STPDad:  …Harvard offered her a full scholarship, including room and board.  She starts in the fall.

DBD: …Good call.


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