Actually, it IS Rocket Science



Let’s go verifying

There are few times when I’ll pause between commercials to investigate that moment of “I didn’t just see/hear what I think I saw/heard, did I?”  Most of the time I’m right, and it’s just another claim to the fact that my brain, upon interpreting something it didn’t hear clearly enough, tends to lean more toward the sick and obscene rather than a more legitimate interpretation for a misheard phrase or lyric (case in point: upon first hearing The Clash’s “London Calling” I thought Joe Strummer was explaining that “while we were fucking, I saw you running out” which makes no goddam sense, whatsoever, if you’re looking at the mechanics of it all).

This is what makes the moments when I DO find oddities in different media placements all the more leery of my ability to filter  the norm from the bat-shit crazy, which is why I’d like to share with you a recent commercial I discovered on the topic of online background checks.  Please pay attention to about :18 seconds in.  Up till then we’ve got a decent roster of people who are more than qualified to check out the people around them.  But what happens when you finally… VERIFY YOURSELF?

(sorry for the snortlaugh, I thought I did a good job stifling them until I uploaded the video)

HOLD UP!!

Oh shiiiiit!  I completely forgot about that one time I was charged for ARMED ROBBERY!  Dangit.  So much for my senate lead.  Wish I hadn’t overlooked that minor infraction.  I thought there was some sort of amnesty day for that shit or something.  Oh goddammit.  Where’s Trent Lott? Surely he’s got some suggestions on how to get out of a tight spot.  No?  What about Spitzer?! George Allen?? What’s that?  Sex scandals & racial slurs are the only ones permitted?  fuck me, lassie.

(ed. note: anyone else notice the ridiculousness of their outro jingle and how whoever sang it should be evaluated for severe depression? It’s a very serious affliction.)

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