Actually, it IS Rocket Science

Bourbon makes the heart grow fonder

When you get to the point in your life when you save having a drink for celebratory matters (LIKE finishing another school semester, or finding the matching pair to your sock) and you couple it with lack of sleep, and you’re already feeling its effects after one glass, you take a couple of things into consideration (in the safety and comfort of your own home so you don’t have to drive home-  Mom- please stop worrying- it’s all in fun).

1.  Maybe less than 10 hours of sleep in 72 makes a difference on intake effects on imbibing.  I’m talking to YOU, loopy loo, doody-doo.  HA! ..Rhymes.

2.  Man.  NBC Thursday night line up is actually really funny.  I mean REALLY FUNNY.  Have you seen that Paul Reiser show yet??  No?  No, actually I’m watching it for the first time myself.  Wait. Hang on.  Okay, no. Don’t.  No, don’t watch it.  I don’t care how much any one of you drink- I’m fairly sure that show will never be even remotely humorous.

3. Why the CRAP don’t I have anything good to eat in the fridge?  It’s all “CELERY” and “WHOLE GRAIN” and  “FAT FREE SOUR CREAM.”  Man, adult Ashlin, you really blew it when it comes to hosting tipsy Ash.


5.  Should I get online?  Nah, I shouldn’t get online… … …


7.  Hey wait-I completely forgot- what’s in the pantry?  Any beef jerky?  No??  shart.

8. Maybe I should go to bed.

9. WAIT. I DID buy beef jerky earlier.  Oh.  But it’s in the car.  fuck it, i’m not THAT hungry.

10.  Oh shit.  That shit I just saw on tv was unintentionally hysterical.  Maybe I could write about that sometime.  Let me make a note:

“some guy on Iron Chef America just dubbed over Morimoto’s directions of “Murry Murry Murry” with “Hurry Hurry Hurry” as if we wouldnt understand his accent”

(this is actually what I wrote last night- and it made me laugh for about an entire minute after writing it)

11. Pilgrimage to car- I want that beef jerky.  I need that jerky. Long as jerky got me he won’t need nobody. He want it I buy go get it I’ll buy it tell other broke brothers be quiet.  STACKS ON DECK- PATRON ON ICE…”

11.  What if that dude that interpreted Murry Murry were to interpret “Louie Lou-ay?”  I’d actually be interested to hear that.

12.  Brush sweaters off teeth while humming to T.I..  dump into bed.  I love everyone.

-Wake up at 10am feeling like a new person.  Life kicks some fleeting ass.  AMERICA.

And so on and so forth.


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